The time of how I was a nobody
At least I felt I was.
Since young I was always taught to hold back in life. Above all else, I should try to make sure I wouldn’t make a fool of myself or make anyone unhappy with me.
I hardly ever talked back to friends, even though that meant making me upset and going home angry.
To avoid looking like a fool, I never joined many Bboy competitions as I just lacked confidence and was certain I was going to be laughed at on stage.
I felt like I was destined to live a mediocre life. Only “those guys” were blessed with talent and could amount to something great, like becoming rich or famous.
The moment it all changed
As a lot of you guys know, my dad passed away when I was only 20.
Yup, needless to say, I was devastated at that point and I was changed forever. Let me summarize how I felt and how I changed in this conversation I had with a friend recently:
My friend, a fellow Bboy and I were just chatting online about life, especially how it’s too short and you got to be happy.
Friend: Bro, sometimes I really wonder what we’re meant to do in life. What kind of job can actually make us happy?
Me: I think you should just aim to be happy bro. Be happy for what you have around you.
Friend: Yeah bro. I tell my mom and dad I love them every time.
Me: That’s nice man.
Bro, the thing is now, I don’t have the chance to tell that to my dad any more. I really think all of us just need to be happy. You see, the day my dad died, I can still remember that feeling. It was a very particular pain that was extremely sharp. I was always unhappy and angry last time, over little things. The day my dad died, I asked myself, “So unhappy for what? Why so angry? Why keep doing things that make you unhappy?”.
That is why today I do what I do. Building my blog has been very tough and add to that, finding time to practise Bboying still.
But at the end of the day, I don’t want to grow old, or have something bad happen to me and then I have to ask myself those questions again.
Friend: Wow bro, thanks for sharing.
And that was the start of finally becoming somebody
Well sometimes I still do get mad and go like, “Hey World, what’s up with you?”.
But instead of dwelling in negativity, I figured I make a positive spin out of everything, good or bad and do whatever the hell I want!
And bam, here’s me, living like a somebody, on my own terms:
– Quit my job last year to follow my dreams of being a writer.
– Still practising Bboying hard, 3-4 times a week.
– Pushing myself hard to joining competitions.
– Actively seeking ways to be a more positive and less angry dude (I practise meditation. I’ve daily affirmations and gratitude. I try to let go of things easier).
– Have started to earn a little bit of income online (I can easily write a post now and earn like maybe, 50 USD).
Here’s the thing, NOBODY saw me as “this guy”. I’ve had friends telling me they’re so surprised I still have time to be a Bboy. One was flabbergasted that me, Alden Tan actually meditates. Others have also commented how much they like my blog.
How did I do all this? I just learnt to stop giving a crap about what others thought of me.
The day I became an inspiration
Straight up. An email from a reader came in, asking me for specific advice and she ended off with, “You’re an inspiration”.
Blew my frigging mind.
And right after that, as I grew my subscribers list, more and more emails started pouring in!
Replying my emails actually became a task as I made it a point to reply every single one of them. I was really touched and honoured that people came to me for specific advice. Even in the comments section of one of my post, a reader remarked she was suicidal, but my writing gave her hope.
It felt like I was finally doing something right.
Now here’s what I’m coming to… Here’s what being demanded of me and here’s what I feel compelled to do
Here’s the thing:
Everything I achieved, especially in becoming more positive, I did it on my own.
I felt I had to because all the personal development blogs, all the “gurus”, all the Aunt Agonies and whatevers, were too “perfect”.
Sure, they do help, but could they really understand empathize with me? Or you?
There is always a demand for emotional help. There’re tons of people out there who are struggling and need help to alleviate that pain.
Now, readers and friends have asked me, nay STRONGLY encouraged me to start reaching out further…
I’m thinking of creating a product, a flagship Alden-Tan product which combines my personality and my own methods of helping you to believe in yourself, be more confident and more motivated in life.
Think of videos of my Bboying, snapshots of my personal life and step-by-step guidance to achieving all of the above.
Not only is it my way of giving back and helping more people, it’s my way of getting out of my comfort zone and actually do business! Something I never thought I’d do! I’m totally stoked by these two ideas.
But here’s the catch!
Because I’m somewhat of a perfectionist and (I’ll admit), I could use a little vote of confidence, I really would like to know who thinks I should actually go with this.
So if you think I should, could you:
1) Just leave a comment below telling me I should go for it.
2) Just reply the email I sent out earlier that led to this post, or just email me now. alden[@]alden-tan.com, with subject along the lines of, “Yes! You should!”.
If enough people express interest, I’ll definitely make this happen.